This burger stands as a kill-grave equivalent i guess, your friend is now this mesmerised narrator. And everyone, myself, people around fall under this spell with reckless abandon to your % DI in lust. This beautiful burger, is composed of what you’d assume is a noxious pile of ingredients. Splitting the room with a generic, ‘Auuugh! let’s go,’ And then others who are healthily shrieking, and covering their heads in yoga-mats.
Reviews spread across my newsfeed. They’re describing sensations induced, sketching the Trufflenator. Dee Why Hotel’s personal hydrogen test-site.
I’ve eaten the burger twice. Both occasions i swore i’d never eat it again. Confidently the best burger i’ve eaten.
It comes quickly. You order and can grab a beer at the bar, opting to sit throughout the room at various spots. They all have their own style that feels personalised wherever you sit. We chose to sit at the edge. There’s a phantom window as backdrop to a cutaway extension of the larger bar. The place is a nice mix of timber floor, almost-boutique furniture, tiled or stone walls and industrial roof. It’s this hipster’s bar without its cast.
Alas: burger. 2 wagyu patties. Defaulted at medium rare. Bacon lined, crowned with onion rings, soaked by cheese and maple syrup. Truffle is infused in 5 ingredients. It links the sweet maple with american cheese and savoury. Each juicy mouthful balanced by a fluffy milk bun, flossy enough till squishing it for average human mouths. Totally American. But with all the casualty of an Aussie bar. With all the comfort of zero hipsters.
But as you know a smile hurts eventually. Halfway i lost focus and stared at the psychedelic table. Hypnotised by illness and this dumb satisfaction. We were all slurring in the end, i was too full for a cigarette.
Fatties Burger Appreciation Society (FBAS) comprising just-shy of 30 000, all over Sydney, filled my newsfeed’s with witty, in depth reviews by friends & strangers. 30 000 people self-exiled from the pop-culture health craze. It’s fresh and clean. All the people you affiliate with in reality have a legitimate organisation, with you’d assume through an astonishing following and protocol an ABN. They post honestly, brutally recounting their burgers with creative prose from around Sydney. The reviewers always animate the meal for your eyes through magic of literature; the odd review is transcendent of the meal itself.
Accompanying is a signature review system. Accounting total bones it costs, a rating out of a potential 5 pickles, and potato or onion rating for chips & onion rings. A 5 pickle rating is not highly thrown around. Very few side with the rarely-outspoken reviewer stating they’ve found a unicorn. It’s nearly unattainable and ought to be recognised delicately. But the truff’s tense hype in it’s early days will supersede most’s stance in polls.
Bones : $18.50
Pickles : 4.8/5
Spuds : n/a